Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
