If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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