3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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