i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my shit smells like andre
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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