i just sent this text using only my big toe
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I love you. Go after that dick
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
