i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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