I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
