There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think I am morally bankrupt
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
whose ass print is on the piano?
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me