I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
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The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
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I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.