3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.