C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
