hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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