just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
