I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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