and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize