my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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