This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
