since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You are the jesus of drinking
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
