just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I love having hate sex.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
