come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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