The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
