My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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