He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize