My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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