Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
