My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
