Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
