She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
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I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
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thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance