No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*