Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle