i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.