3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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