how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
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Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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