Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
