you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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