I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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