Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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