why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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