As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
