would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
