help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I love having hate sex.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You took a bar mat shot.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
