She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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