ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
