why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
