I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
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Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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