physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize