He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
