I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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