dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
