he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I AM VODKA MAN
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
