one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Everclear isn't food dammit
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
