I am puke
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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