so explain again why im purple
no
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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