no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
