so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize