low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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