so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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