i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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