you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
