My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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