These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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