marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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