Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
