I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
