My nipple is on Facebook.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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